No Peaches for You!

An open letter to our peach-loving next door neighbor who killed her own peach tree and loves to eat peaches from our much larger, glorious peach tree from Kmart:

From this day forward, there will be no having of our peaches for your breakfast when the weather is hot and the sun is shining through your windows due to certain lapses in snow removal discussions which have left ours the only sidewalk unplowed and three others nice and snow-free. Along with this decree comes certain articles, as follows:

• There will be no negotiating for said peaches.
• There will be no reinstatement of snow-blowing agreement after this date to gain back the peaches.
• There will be no tying-up of our peach tree this year so as to make like you have had some sort of impact on the peach crop.
• And you can have your peach-tying ropes back for use in other fruitless tree stringing.

Love,

Your next door/city neighbors, one of whom does not like peaches, but will gladly take them to work instead of letting you pick them in the dewy summer mornings.